Moira’s Cancer According To Seinfeld

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March 15, 2009: Kramer: Yeah, I have a question. What do you know about inter-abdominal retractors? Doctor: Are you asking because you saw “20/20” last night? Kramer: I sure am

I was released from the hospital on Saturday at noon. They were so good to me over there–really a caring environment. I had a little private room with a pull-out chair that turned into a bed (think a first class seat on British Airways commercials) and so Leighanne stayed both nights. We had the most bizarre of sleep-overs, I guess. Watched a lot of crap tV (including Seinfeld, something we always quote but have never actually watched together. Two of our fave episodes were on: the Little Jerry and The Comeback). She is such a great person for just running down anything that I needed (or thinking of it before I needed it). The nurses came in at regular intervals to check vitals, pain levels, measure fluids coming out of weird tubes and ask if I had already ordered food. They seem to want you to eat quite a bit! (the food, by the way, is prepared to order by the Marriott corp. Not bad at all!) My family all visited several times a day. Friday morning I was whacked out on morphine, but by the afternoon I was a little more myself. I walked around the hospital on two occasions; once dragging that IV pole around, and once without. I ran a tiny fever Friday night (I had a little fluid collecting in my lungs), but between the antibiotics and these breathing exercises they give you to do, it went away. Saturday I was feeling good and the pain was pretty manageable, so off I went–but they scheduled an at-home nurse to come visit me for Sunday, just to show me how to deal with the drain bulbs, change dressings, etc.

By sunday, I was feeling pretty good so by the time she arrived I already figured out all that stuff and she really had nothing to do. One of the things they sent me home with was this device called OnQ, which was a novacaine pump that delivered topical painkillers for 72 hours. I’ll have that removed in a couple of days. It is making life so much easier, because it reduces the amount of narcotics a patient must take. It’s shaped like a little football, or possibly a grenade. I have to cart it around in a little pouch. Fifi calls it my handbag.

I kind of overdid it on Sunday and was in a little more pain than normal, so I’m going to take it easy for the next couple of days. It’s hard staying put, though!

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April 1, 2009 Posted by | Uncategorized | 1 Comment